Devil's In My Eyes
by XSuicuneX
Summary: Not all happy endings stay happy, and sometimes you have to wait until after the end to fix everything. AU. Kinda. Sheelos, though someone has a tendency to hog the spotlight...
1. Devil's In My Eyes

**This is an experiment, and is here mostly because I get tired of writin' porn all the damn time. XD It's gonna be a short chapter fic, but intense as all hell (heh, heh) and I've got everything all nice and neatly planned out for ya. This first part's a prologe, and very short. Next chapter'll come out soon as I find the time for the last few lines. Basically this is following after Zelos ACTUALLY betrays you and ends up all dead and stuff. Romance is in here, but...well...things are interesting to say the least. I'll say no more, the next chapter will explain a few things.**

**Hopefully you'll enjoy a wee bit of my take on Sheena perspective as Zelos lays there dying. **

**Disclaimer; I don't own Tales of Symphonia...but damn does it own me.**

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><p>He laughed, and Sheena cursed her own stupidity at just now seeing the pain veiled in his eyes.<p>

It wasn't meant to be, because what kind of friend, lover, was she to not have seen? So many years...and not once had she considered it. A life whose purpose was to breed or die, simply breed or die so everyone else would have an easier life. As if that wasn't enough to deal with, a mother whose death was on his hands as well...

Simply put, he was broken, and he was horribly good at hiding the fact.

She hadn't known, hadn't even guessed it. All those years, what the hell had she been doing with him all this time?

She could say she was broken too, but that was an excuse and she knew it. With everyone's help, she'd beaten her demons. He on the other hand...He had no one. And he should have, he should have had HER!

But he didn't, and now he was smiling with pain, so damn clear and obvious after all the years she should have noticed it sooner. He laughed, coughing out the blood he should have never had to shed, explaining to them things in words that she, his FRIEND, shouldn't have needed to hear in the first place.

And he was leaving her, leaving because she'd failed him. Just like Kuchinawa, just like Corrine.

He didn't even say anything to her in the end, though it was probably because they had an audience. Trust Zelos to get stage fright right before his own death. Or maybe... Maybe he just didn't think she deserved the consideration. Like how she'd ignored him, he might have finally given up on her.

He was gone though... Gone and broken, or broken before he was gone... Long before. All the tears in the world couldn't bring him back.

She would never forget the pain in his eyes, the pain it took her too damn long to see.

In the end, it was the pain that did her in.

"Hello Hunny." Said a phantom from her haunted past. "Nice of you to drop by."

She tried to see the pain in his eyes, but there was only shadow now... Shadow and blood and rage...

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><p><strong>That last part's confusing as hell I know. It'll be explained.<strong>

**I'd say review, but, eh, I haven't given you much to work with, yet, so no big. :P (returns to making more WYDK)**


	2. Red Snow Falls

**Heh, this is where things get a little more explained, though for every question answered, more questions arise. Anyways, this idea pretty much was inspired by The Azure Crow's story Unrequited, and Left to Rot. A very dark piece, and a sequel of their other story, Unrequited, but Not Forgotten. Both are delightfully dark, and very intense, and this stupid zombie plot bunny just wouldn't leave me alone after I read it...so I played with an idea a little until I came up with this. Though, you really should read both those stories, they're quite amazing. Better then mine. :P**

**Anyways, I'll meet you back at the end of the chapter. **

**Disclaimer; I don't own Tales of Symphonia, and I enjoy a good dark fic every now and again. Angst is interesting...**

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><p>The place was dark and dank and lonely. A misty, swampy land of utter despair and shame. At least that was what he saw it as.<p>

He'd heard that others saw the place differently, depending on their personal sins. It was funny, he'd thought that snow would be more appropriate for him. Then again, he supposed it _was _more fitting for the snow to come where _she _was.

He wondered how the newcomer saw the place.

He kept to the shadows and took the man in. Red clothes, dwarven craft if he recalled correctly. An unruly mop of brown hair, eyes to match, a pair of twin swords strapped to his side.

Aside from an inch or two, and a slightly buffer frame, he hadn't changed at all. Hell, the swordsman likely would wear those clothes on his deathbed.

Speaking of... One other thing had changed, or more accurately, it had always been there, but he hadn't been dead to see it.

The soft glow of life, cocooning the newcomer in its warm light.

He'd met his fair share of stupidity, dealt with it on a daily basis from the swordsman in life, but to come down to Neiflheim? Alive? _Willingly?_

Honestly...

"Lloyd." he called out, his voice soft and muffled in the mist. The younger (older?) man spun around, his swords out and ready. Huh, his reflexes were still decent it seemed.

He stepped out of the shadows.

Lloyd's eyes widened. "You!" He said, the weapons lowering from their ready position, his grip going slack.

Which was stupid, really, considering the last time they'd met one of those swords had carved a hole in his chest.

"Hey Bud, how ya doin'?" The smile felt familiar, the words too. How long had it been since he'd used the mask?

Lloyd, ever innocent and idealistic Lloyd, fell for it every time. He grinned, all hope and bright honesty. "Zelos!" He laughed, glad of all things to see his fallen friend.

Lloyd really didn't belong here. Zelos needed to find a way to get him out before one of the other spirits took him for themselves. (Or took him before he had a chance to use him)

Thankfully, Lloyd was a simple fellow, so Zelos could get to the point without any formal pleasantries. "Soooo, what are you doing here?" He asked bluntly, the swordsman blinking at him in surprise. "I mean, not that I mind the company, but...um...what the fuck? How'd you get here? _Why_ are you here? What the hell gave you the idea that it was a good idea to come down here?" His voice rose with every question, surprising himself. Lloyd wasn't damned, he wasn't dead either, this was Zelos' place and he just wanted to suffer his sins in peace.

...Urk...He was starting to sound too much like Regal...

Lloyd took a step back, shocked at Zelos, intensity. "Hey, calm down." He put away his weapons and raised his hands in a soothing gesture. "First of all, the _how _came from Ratatosk. He's...a summon spirit that guards the gate here."

Zelos snorted. "I know who Ratatosk is." Scary spirit, even though he'd taken the form of an Elf before his brief stint in the world of the living and mana filled. Mean temper too, though he'd mellowed out after he turned into some random human. "Kinda hard not to when he's the guy keeping the demons in here from going out there." And boy did it get on their nerves. Rule of thumb was to avoid a demon whenever possible on principle, but even more so after they'd taken a trip down to the gate.

Lloyd sighed. "Well, that's one thing less to explain I guess. Now, the _why_..." He paused for several agonizing seconds, trying the redhead's patience. Finally he looked Zelos in the eye. "It's Sheena. I'm here to save her."

Oh...that was... "She's here?" He swallowed thickly and cursed the uncannily realistic mimicry of a dry mouth. "As in...down here? A resident?"

'One of the damned?' was what he should have asked, but he couldn't, just couldn't. Never mind that Lloyd was about to confirm the fear for him. He couldn't imagine her...loyal, honest Sheena, being sent to a place like this.

Lloyd nodded, silently. "Martel told us." He answered before Zelos could demand proof. Well...if the Goddess herself confirmed it...

"So, mind telling me how the fuck this came about?" He growled out, harsher then he should have, but he was past caring. Sheena was damned. Beautiful, strong, uncompromising Sheena was damned. His old friend, his hidden flame. Had things turned out differently he wondered if she would've been his, but no, she'd chosen Lloyd. Zelos had left her with that choice.

Apparently that had been the wrong thing to do.

Lloyd took his time again, seeming to think carefully about his answer. Zelos refrained from snapping at him, though the signs all pointed to it being very unpleasant.

Then again, Sheena was damned, of course it was going to be unpleasant.

"Suicide." A simple, one worded answer, prompting a million worded responses with its utterance. But Lloyd wasn't done. "Suicide, and a lot of bad luck." He paused, looking uncomfortable.

"I don't know what exactly was going through her head..." Lloyd said, looking sincerely upset and apologetic, and that soothed Zelos' anger somewhat. "I'm here to find that out, and then I'm going to help her move on, because she doesn't belong here. Even Ratatosk said so, this isn't her place, and I'm gonna do everything I can to save her."

He gave Zelos such an intense look he couldn't turn away. "Will you help me? Help me find her?" He asked.

Zelos closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And then another, because it wasn't helping the storm inside of him. Then he heard the word 'suicide' in his head and thought 'Sheena is damned' and to hell with his self control. Sheena is damned. Sheena is fucking _damned_ and this idiot thinks he can just waltz in and fix everything because he's _Lloyd _goddess damned _Irvine_. She shouldn't ever be in a place like this, this was _his _spot, _his _end, and like _hell_ would he drag another person he loved into the pit with him again and _why the hell hadn't Lloyd helped her?_

It took a single breath, he'd let the anger move him and in the next instant he had Lloyd pinned.

The swordsman squirmed and attempted to buck him off, but Zelos had too good a grip and the feeling of a cold, sharp edge on his throat stilled his struggles anyway.

"Z-Zelos!" He cried in surprise "What's gotten into you?"

"You...self righteous prick." His voice was low, if possible the man beneath him grew even more still. "You think you can just walk in here and fix everything?"

"No, I-" Lloyd was interrupted by Zelos pulling his head up painfully by his hair.

"You think it's such a simple thing don't you? That saving one of the damned is _easy_? That you _understand_? Do you even realize the danger you're in around here" he moved so he was breathing beside Lloyd's ear, making the man subconsciously shudder, so close to that warm glow...

"It would be so easy to steal that life from you. Any spirit could do it, and you would be dead." Zelos let go of the hair and ran his free hand down Lloyd's chest, sparring a moment of pride that he could even influence men with his skill. The brunette couldn't help but lean in. "Don't ask me what a demon could do to you either, you wouldn't wanna know."

Lloyd shook his head to clear it, recklessly heedless of the blade near his throat. "I know it's dangerous, but I don't care! Sheena needs my help. I have to save her!"

"Save her?" Zelos' hand returned to Lloyd's hair and gripped it tight. "_Save _her?" He was seeing red again, and his voice was getting louder. "Like fuck you can save her! You did such a great job of it back when it mattered right?"

Lloyd tried to struggle, Zelos only gripped tighter. "That was-"

"Fuck your excuses! Sheena fucking _loved _you and now she's down here! Why the hell is she here Lloyd? Why is she damned? _Where the fuck were you?_" He knows he's being unfair, or at least a part of him knows, the same part that makes his voice crack with pain on every word, the same part that reminds him who's likely to have the real blame.

Lloyd is angry now, he never did take well to people shouting at him. "That was- you can't blame me for that! Mizuho got destroyed, and suddenly she just vanished! I didn't have control over that! None of us did! Otherwise we would have _been _there for her, but no, she goes and plays the lone wolf and blames herself for Mizuho and how the hell was I supposed to know she'd kill herself after everything?" He was breathing heavily, Zelos just kept his grip firm and waited for him to be done. "Besides, at least I _could _have been there for her if she'd let me. Unlike you, who just gave up without even trying!"

Zelos froze. He was right. Damn him, he was right. Not that she'd have been so inclined to listen, but surely all that history, the love and pain and mutual respect, meant something. Perhaps if he'd stayed...

It didn't matter. What's done is done, leave the past to itself and focus on the present. Whatever will be...

He slowly got off the swordsman, his blade sliding back into its sheath with an audible hiss. Lloyd watched him, warily. He got up without comment, confused over the former Chosen's sudden silence.

Zelos turned away from him. "Mortals here use their hearts to travel. You just _want_ to see someone, or something, and start walking. You'll get there eventually." He stated dully. He was tired of seeing one of the living already, and there was a chill in the air.

Lloyd blinked in surprise. "Wait, you're not coming with me?" He asked. "But, you have to! Zelos, this is _Sheena_, I need your help to save her! I thought you loved her!" His voice rose, pleading.

Zelos laughed, the sound strained and slightly manic. He stopped abruptly and shot Lloyd one of the most bitter looks he'd ever used. "Even if I _wanted _to, I couldn't" He hissed. "This place doesn't work like that."

Lloyd shook his head in stubborn denial, taking a step forward. "But, there has to be a way..."

Zelos gave him a dull look. "Do you honestly think Sheena would even _want _to see me?" Lloyd deflated, unable to find a response. "That's what I thought." Zelos muttered, unsurprised. The cold was starting to bite into him, a chill wind kicking up.

"It's starting to get little chilly here..." The swordsman commented, rubbing his arms with gloved hands.

"Yeah...it does that." Zelos agreed. "You should go before the snow starts."

Lloyd looked surprised. "Snow? It snows here?" As if to prove itself, a few small flurries were already making a decent.

Zelos smirked wryly, the expression holding no true amusement. "For me, yeah. Go on." He turned away, the snow beginning to fall in greater quantity around them. "Go save Sheena...She always did respond to you better."

He heard Lloyd take another step. "Zelos... What's going to happen? What's the snow mean?" His voice was filled with worry, and for the love of _Martel _did he or did he _not _recall that Zelos had betrayed him before he died? They weren't friends, Zelos had _used _him. Used all of them, and he'd been paying for it since.

He didn't deserve Lloyd's concern. Why didn't the simpleton _get it_?

"That's none of your business." He bit out. "Just go."

Lloyd was such a stubborn fool. "But Zelos-!"

The ex-Chosen spun around, giving him an exasperated glare. "What part of _I'm damned _don't you understand? Now for the love of Martel _leave _before you get your stupid self into even more trouble! You're here to save _Sheena _remember?" He yelled, hoping that reminding Lloyd of his goal would keep him from getting side tracked.

Lloyd defiantly took another step forward. "No, I'm not just gonna _leave _you here to...what ever's going to happen! You don't deserve-"

He was halted by the sound of hissing metal, the Fallen Angel having withdrawn his sword once again.

"Don't you _dare _say I don't deserve this." Zelos growled, pointing the blade at the brunette. "Or did you honestly forget how we parted last?"

Lloyd looked like he'd been punched in the gut, his eyes showing hurt. "But that...you...you helped us in the end, right? And you had a good reason-"

"'The path to Neiflheim is paved with good intentions'" Zelos quoted quietly. "And trust me Bud, most of mine were along the selfish kind."

Lloyd seemed to be torn. "I can't just leave you..." He whispered desperately.

Zelos narrowed his eyes and growled in frustration. He got into a battle stance. "Don't make me fight you Lloyd. I will, and you know it. Go and save Sheena like you said you would!" his hand tightened on the blade, and he glared at Lloyd threateningly.

The swordsman's face crumpled in despair and defeat. He backed away, but before he turned around, he paused. "Zelos, I...I'm sorry." he said, before quickly dashing away, the now heavy snowfall dodging his steps.

Zelos smiled sadly to himself. "Don't be, I made this bed after all." he whispered, sheathing his sword and rubbing his hands on his arms to futilely stave off the chill.

"It was..."

The snow fell heavier.

"...my"

Purest white.

"...choice."

Until it became red.

"Zelos."

He shook, his mask shattered by the sound of _that _voice.

"It's time for your medicine." _s__uch a foolish child, a pathetic chosen..._

He turned and did not flinch when he saw her, too used to the way things were by now. He simply bowed his head and submitted to the inevitable.

"Yes mother..."

The snow had never been so red.

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><p><strong>So, this entire story pretty much came from the offshoot of the image of Zelos having Lloyd pinned with a sword to his neck, yelling at him for Sheena and Lloyd yelling back and general quasi-yaoi hate moments. Looking at it, there's a good amount of slight Zelloyd, which makes me laugh, though I'm a huge Sheelos shipper. I have no problems with Zelos in Yaoi however, he's just girly enough and flamboyant enough that it works...and I honestly think the man's so messed up that he'd reach out for affection from anyone who'd be willing to give it, despite his trust issues. Even though he's adamant against outwardly saying he's 'doin' dudes' because he's the Chosen and has a reputation to maintain.<strong>

**There's probably going to be a bit of Sheelloyd too, if only because it's cannon, but I am most definately a Sheelos shipper, don't get me wrong. I just...when it comes to ship wars, I'm all about free love. XD There are my fav. couples, but then if those couples happen to be rather close in cannon to another couple, or person, who they're also shipped with...and I can reasonably see it...I tend to blur the lines a tad. (it doesn't help that everyone's Lloydsexual in that game.) I still like to keep defined lines on who's with who however (when they're established). I like Colloyd. It's cute, and near cannon. BUT, Lloyd tends to blur the lines about carring for his friends, (and is horribly oblivious about what counts as a romantic gesture or not) and Zelos is just fucked up in the head enough that he'll take ANYONE at this point (even if that means sharring his ninja with Lloyd, so long as he gets Lloyd too...or that's just me) and Sheena's conflicted and confused (when Zelos isn't being an ass to her) and Colette...just...wants everyone to be happy? It's very blurred between the four of them...I love it so much. **

**Okay, I'm done weirding you all out with my love of odd cross couples. :P Ah, and as it turnes out I had the idea for Neiflheim in my head BEFORE I looked it up in Norse mythology and read it as a 'place of mist' a 'cold hell' parallel to the other place which is technically the 'fire and brimstone' version that modern day christians kinda sorta use. It's very intersting, and the fact that Zelos didnt' die of illness or old age to get into there is something I'm blatently ignoring for artistic licence. The same excuse I'm using for making up both Sheena and Zelos' punishments and a few 'rule's in here that are most likely derived from my own past views on 'Hell' then on any concreat Norse Mythology. But I'm going to at LEAST try to keep SOME things to the actual place. Maybe. The mist stays. :P**

**Well, I think that wraps this one up. It's short compaired to how long my other stuff gets (minus the AN's, but I'm a chatterbox, y'all know this) I rather like this one...it's intense, and full of emotion. Exactly how I want to write. Hope you all like it!**

**Review for your Aunty 'Cune plxthx! Ciao~**


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